The Ass, The Elephant, The Terrorist and The Rest of us!

Two more days to go, before one country decides upon, arguably, the most powerful man in the world. American elections havent been more dicey.

I often tend to envy American people for the simplicity of choices they are offered. As in this election. Choose one of two. As straightforward as that.
Paradoxically though, it turns out to be the most delusive of decisions that they have to make now.

Firstly, the ways of American hustings isnt anything that, being an Indian, I would enjoy. It lacks the festivity and glamour of the Indian version. No posters on walls, the "Vote for...." cliches missing on those buses, walls, roads, banners suspended from literally anything that helps a knot around it; those larger-than-life-size cutouts of the contestants, doorstep delivery of biryani packets, seashore assemblages, crackers, colours, skits, outcries - nope, nothing comes anywhere near it, except probably the homecoming of an Indian Miss World/Universe.
Beat Indian slogans and catchphrases!
I wonder what we would have come up with for the US election campaigns:

"Bush hume rakhenge khush"

"Kerry fills us with merry"

hmmmmm.... interesting....

Undeniably, the party mascots are sure to bring some simpers around.The Elephant is almost acceptable.But hold on,a Donkey ??
But then, they are nowhere close to being disparaged. Trust me, they are anyday better than a vintage Ambassador car for a party symbol!!!! Yes, it does exist, back at home. I wonder what made them land upon such a symbol. And was it a diesel or a petrol version?? I'll get back to you on that when I find out.
Nevertheless, getting back to the Donkey and the Elephant, delving into some impetus behind such choices, here is what I found:

When Andrew Jackson ran for president in 1828, his opponents tried to label him a "jackass" for his populist views and his slogan, "Let the people rule." Jackson, however, picked up on their name calling and turned it to his own advantage by using the donkey on his campaign posters. During his presidency, the donkey was used to represent Jackson's stubbornness when he vetoed re-chartering the National Bank.

The first time the donkey was used in a political cartoon to represent the Democratic party, it was again in conjunction with Jackson. Although in 1837 Jackson was retired, he still thought of himself as the Party's leader and was shown trying to get the donkey to go where he wanted it to go. The cartoon was titled "A Modern Baalim and his Ass."

The Democrats think of the elephant as bungling, stupid, pompous and conservative -- but the Republicans think it is dignified, strong and intelligent. On the other hand, the Republicans regard the donkey as stubborn, silly and ridiculous -- but the Democrats claim it is humble, homely, smart, courageous and loveable.

Nonetheless, they are the symbols.

The present debates havent been helping to narrow down on one of the two anyways. I read through loads of opinion polls. And with all eyes set on the elections, there are bound to be zillions of opinions. Lets not talk that. In anycase, I wanted to mention a senior journalist's suggestion on determining the possible winner by counting the number of Halloween masks that are graced with the contestants' visage!!! Now thats an idea! But then, Halloween is just a day before the d-day and I dont see this method affecting people's opinions thereon.

And now comes the big jolt. None other than our beloved Osama -a Bin Laden "With Trash"!!! This man has got style I say! The American President shakes his little finger, and the world dances to it in sync! And when Osama chuckles, the President does a somersault. And I hate to think of what the world will have to face...Nauseating, to say the least. But this dude Osama has a knack for getting noticed. While the two bigshots are busy trying to get some attention, there he is, making the whole world forget everything else but him!

Kerry: "U heavyheaded, irrational, hasty, incorrigible warmonger....grrrrr....."

Bush : "U inconsistent, indecisive, incapable, harping airhead....grrr....grrrr..."

Baha Men : "Who let the dogs out....yeee yeeee....who let the dogs out..."

People: "mmmmm.......mmmmmm...."

Osama : Bang!

People: "Look....there...Osama....he seems to have coloured his beard....whaddya think?"

And there have been loads of instances to prove the assumed facades of the two contestants' demeanor. In milieu of the recent threat by the son of his soil, Osama Trash Can, the nation awaited Bush's repartees, here is what he sad to say :
"While the intelligence community (??!!) of America is going through the tape that we have received, let me tell you. We will not be intimidated by these threats. I am sure Senator Kerry agrees with it"
Now that makes me think! Why is he so preoccupied with what Kerry has to say? When the nation wants him to speak for them!
And Kerry says something like "We will unite against terrorism and fight against it. Come what may" (werent exactly his words...but from what I can recollect from the what he meant to say)
I am sure Bush must have thought "Spill it John...Spill it....Say war is alright.."

And spare a thought for Bush. Talk about Relatives turning against you.
Goes by the famous abbreviation in secret-agent trainings - DTA (Dont Trust Anybody).
Hmmm..... Now thats enough talk on America....And about who is going to win, your guess is as good as mine. Lets keep our faculties sharp and waiting.... For most of us, Bush = more outsourcing, Kerry = "whathashegotinstore".

So long....Have an eventful weekend. Adios.